Saturday, October 6, 2007

Post Production Humor

The output of a particularly productive Saturday afternoon...


1) I tried to read your mind, but it was running at 2 fps (*1).
2) You're so thick, you can be classified as HD (*2).
3) What do you call a horny telecine machine? (De)Spirit 4K
4) He used to pleasure himself so much, they made him a shake (*3) artist.
5) He was so dark, our Lustre (*4)broke.
6) Yo Mamma's so fat, we had to change the aspect ratio.
7) Yo' Mamma's so fat, I had to photograph her in landscape mode.
8) Yo' Mamma's so fat, we made her wear green and used her as the chroma (*5) screen.
9) Yo' Mamma's so fat, she couldn't fit on our SAN (*6).
10) Yo' Mamma's so fat, we had to scan her in 8K (*7).


For the uninitiated...
1) fps = frames per second. The normal speed is 24/25 fps depending on the medium.
2) HD = High Density
3) Shake = software/hardware combination to used to add visual effects to a scene.
4) Lustre = grading system used for colour correction.
5) croma = green screen used for vfx shots.
6) SAN = high capacity (some terabytes) hard disks typically used in data intensive workflows.
7) 8K = highest scanning resolution possible today, uses the highest amount of disk space per frame.

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